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I don't mean to start off May with such an ugly post but it's 2:55 AM and I can't fall asleep cause I can't stop thinking about all the things that I'm worried/stressed/upset about. I've been pretty sensitive to anything and everything because I'm super worried about finding a new job and this stupid research paper that's due in a week that I still don't even have a thesis for. So I'd like to just have a rant about something that happened recently so that I can relieve...something.
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If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you might have read about the end of my relationship with a certain asshole. Now, I made an end to that mistake over a year ago but the nightmare wasn't over. He STILL bothers me! Can you say WTF. The most current incident being yesterday. Well, technically two days ago (Monday).
I'm notorious for not speaking up for myself and ignoring things instead, hoping that it will go away. Yes, I am weak. And yes, I made the many grave mistakes of handling the encounters with the creep that way. I am so, so, so mad at myself for doing so...EVERY TIME. And there have been way too many times.
I've gotten the occasional emails, the anonymous/different id formspring/blog comments, message from a newly made facebook account which are easy to ignore and delete which I guess are kind of normal and I'm sure a lot of people have gone through but this is happening through the course of more than a year. And if I'm ignoring all of them/disabling/blocking all ways of contact, would a person not get the hint?
As if that's not creepy enough, is it not crossing the line if he shows up to where I live knowingly unwelcome? I can change my number but I can't move. -_-
How about following me onto a train car or bus or to class?
Bothering me while I'm trying to finish my midterm exam? Put his chin on my shoulder?
Read my friend's tweets to get an idea of what I'm saying to them because my twitter is private and has him blocked?
Or barging into my study room on Monday? May I remind you, IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR!
And what did he do when he invades my room? Tell me that this is his last semester and that I don't have to worry about seeing him anymore. *SCOFF* REALLY??? HOW IS SOMEONE SO FRUSTRATINGLY STUPID???!!! UGH I regret so much just walking out of the room instead of telling him off.
Well shit, this better really be the last time I see that mug because I am done dealing with it. I will go through the trouble of going to court and get a restraining order if it happens again. I'm not just saying it for the hundredth time. I am done with him taking advantage of my meekness, I am done being embarrassed in public, I am done feeling uncomfortable on my own school campus, and I am done with this dipshit.
*******
And with that I am done with my rant.
I'll start updating again once I finish this god damn research paper.